How to Win Your Ex Back — 5 Steps To Get Them Back

In this article we’ll address some of the most common questions concerning how to win your ex back. From the signs that your ex wants you back, to tips on what to do after being dumped, how to make your ex want you back and advice on how to win your ex back after a breakup, this article will cover everything you needed to know and more.

1 Play To Their Feelings

They loved you once, never forget that, stop asking yourself how to make your ex want you back, and remember that deep down, they probably already do. Even if it’s just a little bit.

how to win your ex back

How To Make Your Ex Want You Back

Those feelings are there, trust us on that. They might be hidden deep down, disguised by a lot of anger, mistrust and even feelings of betrayal, but to some extent, they are definitely there.

You just have to bring them to the surface again, and there are a few ways that you can do this.

  • Remind Them Of The Good Times: There will have been times when you went on holiday together, times when you laughed, joked, loved and had fun — do all that you can to remind them of these times, but without being obvious about it. If it comes from inside then those memories will make them feel warm and fuzzy, but if it comes from you then those memories may make them angry.
  • Stay In Touch With Their Family: Grown men and women find it harder to cast an ex out of their life if that ex is still in touch (and liked by) their close family members and their best friends. This could be your lifeline and it may even be your ticket to getting back together.
  • Be Romantic: Do not be afraid to show that you love them, that you’re sorry and that you’ll always be there, but do not overdo it, do not be too flash. After all, it’s the thought that counts.

After this, the question of how to make your ex want you back doesn’t seem so difficult. After all, a lot of the groundwork has already been done as a lot of the feelings are already there, but there is a lot more to cover, so don’t relax just yet. 

Be Indifferent About The Breakup

Playing hard to get really does work, and this is a great solution if you want to know how to make your ex want you back. Anything that is unattainable suddenly becomes more attractive.

The “No Contact Rule” comes into play here and is one of the fundamental rules when it comes to getting your ex back. Simply put, you should do all that you can to avoid contact in those early days or weeks.

This often applies more if you are a man looking to get a woman back, but it works with both sexes. This is not just about making them jealous and getting someone else — which we’ll discuss a little later — and is more about being indifferent, uncaring and generally disinterested in anything they do.

Your ex will want to know that you are suffering, they will want to believe that you loved them, that you still love them. This is an ego boost for them and it’s something that applies to all of us simply because we all want to be loved and liked, even if we have no interest in being with that person.

So, let them contact you, and don’t contact them. And when they tell you that they are with someone new, when they make a statement that was designed to hurt you, simply shrug it off.

Do not let it get to you.

After a while they will begin to try harder and they will then focus more of their attentions on making you jealous, which means that they are thinking about you more. That’s where you want to be, because then they are just a few steps away from being in love with you again.

Know Their Triggers

You need to know what sets them off, what makes them scared, what makes them cry, because that way you can manipulate their feelings to your will and pickup on the signs your ex wants you back.

Studies have been conducted on the psychology of love itself and have determined that it can often be precipitated by fear. Fear makes the heart beat faster, it has a deeply psychological and physiological reaction, much like love.

Our minds often confuse the two, and when we are scared and with someone we are attracted to, the bodily reactions generated by fear can be misrepresented as love.

This means that if you know what scares them, then it might just take a trip to the cinema (or a Netflix night) to watch a horror movie and to reignite the spark.

This applies more if your ex is female. Also, all women like a man who can make them laugh and if you can do that and her new boyfriend cannot, then she may fall for you again.

Similar things apply if your partner is male. You know what he likes, what gets him emotional, what makes him laugh.

Use these to your advantage, letting your ex know that few other people will know them like you do, while also using that knowledge to get closer to them.

Learn more about triggers, breakups and the psychology behind them in this video on the Secrets To Getting Your Ex Back. 

2 Know Why They Left You

As the saying goes, “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus”. We have many of the same urges, but we think differently and we react differently.

Not only that, but each individual is unique, and before you learn how to win your ex back, you have to understand how their mind works. A lot of the information here is generalized and may not apply to your ex, so pick and choose, don’t follow everything blindly.

There are a few things that we can say for certain, a few generalizations that are easy to make based on the statistics available.

Reasons Why A Woman Will Finish With a Man

  • Commitment Issues: A lot of men are stuck in their childhoods and refuse to take the leap into adulthood. If you are in your twenties or thirties and if you weren’t married and didn’t have kids, then that could be the reason she left you.
  • No Romance: Women liked to be wined and dined, they like a man who will buy them flowers and tell them they love them. Men tend only to do this early on in the relationship, which inevitably leads to that relationship breaking down.
  • No Excitement: If the first thing she does after being dumped is to go on holiday, hit the clubs every night and generally let loose, then there’s a good chance that she left you because you didn’t excite her anymore. 

Reasons Why A Man Will Finish With a Woman

If you are the woman, and you were dumped by a man, then the question of how to win your ex back needs to be approached from a different angle.

  • Sex: Men tend to focus more on the sexual side of a relationship than women do. Women love sex as well, but a man would sooner end the relationship if the sex wasn’t forthcoming anymore.
  • Someone Else: Men tend to be led astray more than women, and again, this is down to sex. If they are not getting the excitement they crave at home and it is offered elsewhere, then this could be the reason they left.
  • Boredom: Men are strange creatures and most of the time they will be content in dull relationships, but there are key moments in their life when this changes. These mainly occur during middle-age (they don’t call it a mid-life crises for nothing) and during those early years, when the innocence and misadventure of their youth disappears and is replaced by a slower, less exciting family life.
  • Paranoia: If a man suspects his partner is having an affair, he is more prone to ending the relationship and never talking about it. Women tend to be more open and will say something, but men are more inclined to stew on their paranoia and anger, eventually letting it get the better of them.

After being dumped it’s very hard to understand the reason, and many times your ex will not tell you. Men are often more tight-lipped than women and they like to keep their emotions to themselves, but in these circumstances they tend to be more blunt and honest.

Women will do more to soften the blow and to save the guy’s feelings. They may even lie, making it harder to understand why they left.

So, before you go any further, remember that every situation is different, as is every ex. You need to think how they would react in each situation, using their personality, your relationship and the reason they dumped you as a basis for this.

And if you do not know your ex well enough to know how she will react, then maybe that’s the reason they left you in the first place. 

3 Make Them Jealous

If you want to know how to win your ex back from another man or woman, you just need to ask yourself what would you do in their shoes. And when you think about it, seeing your ex with someone else and dealing with the jealously that comes from that, is probably the thing that will have the most effect on you.

And the same goes for your ex, because even though they are no longer with you, they will still have feelings for you, and those feelings will be stirred-up as soon as they see you with someone else.

This works regardless of your sex and the sex of your partner, because jealously is something that resides within all of us. However, men and women will act different and will be jealous of different things.

Emotional Women; Primal Men

Studies suggest that to a woman, the ultimate betrayal is a man who has an emotional connection with another woman, but to a man, the ultimate betrayal is a woman who sleeps with someone else. This says a lot about the male and female attitude and suggests that women are more emotional and less primal than men.

Although you certainly didn’t need us to tell you that.

This is perhaps why women tend to stay longer in relationships that are not working sexually, relationships that have little to no lust left, and why men will usually seek to fly the nest or at least to have an affair in such a relationship, even if they still love their partner.

So, although it is important to put yourself in their shoes and to gauge how they would react, it is even more important to note that women and men respond in different ways to different relationships.

When it comes to making your ex jealous, this is essential information.

How to Make Your Ex Jealous

If you are a man, then remember that your ex will likely be more perturbed by you showing an emotional and deep connection with another women, whether this be simply through laughing and joking with each other, or showing that you are deeply involved with each other.

If you are a woman looking to win back the affections of an ex boyfriend, then it’s all about sex. Let him see you kissing, hugging and being intimate with another man, as this will hurt him the most.

Male and female psychology can help us in other ways as well. For instance, we know that ex boyfriends will always compare themselves to your current boyfriend, and if they feel inadequate in any way, then they will do their best to win you back as a way to show you, themselves and the rest of the world that they are the better man.

Most of this is sexual with men, and the more immature they are, the more about penis size and muscle size it will be. Men also pay a lot of attention to wealth and status, so if they see you with someone who is bigger, stronger and has a better job, a better car and more money, then they’ll be desperate to win you back.

Women think in much the same way, only they are less primal in the way they compare themselves. For women, age plays a big role, particularly if your ex is over 30; as does weight.

In this case, simply having a woman that is younger and thinner on your arm may be enough to get your ex back. As far as the question of “how to make your ex want you back” goes, this is gold dust, but it needs to be used carefully, otherwise it could backfire.

To understand your ex better, to turn the tables on them and make them believe that it was all their fault, watch this video on Secrets To Getting Your Ex Back. 

Using Social Media

In this day and age, making your ex jealous is no longer a case of taking a beautiful man or woman to a club, restaurant or shop that they frequent and hoping to bump into them. You can use social media to do all of the hard work for you, making them jealous without even seeing them.

  • Post Pictures: Don’t be obvious about it, but take some pictures with your new partner and ask them to post them on Facebook, tagging you in them and ensuring they appear on your feed. The sexier, the better.
  • Change Your Status: Your ex will want you to be miserable, so change your relationship status to show that you are with someone new, preferably someone who meets the criteria mentioned above.
  • Talk Dirty: Let your ex and everyone else see you talking to your new partner, showing the world how close you two are, how much you like/love each other and how well you get on. Nothing will annoy your ex more.

These are all easy ways to get your ex back, but if you struggle to find someone new, or you struggle to find someone good enough to make her jealous, then there are other ways.

Ask a friend who they don’t know to pose as your social media boyfriend or girlfriend. Pay someone to do this for you or simply create a false profile, it may look desperate, but if it works and they don’t find out, then who cares?

Use Technology to Your Advantage

You can also use a simple text message to get them back, one that will turn their anger and their hatred into sympathy and love, and one that will save your relationship and restore their feelings. To learn more about this, click this link here.

4 Be Their Type

If you want to know how to make your ex want you back again, then ask yourself who their dream partner is and try to be that person.

You might have spent years in a relationship thinking that you were their type, but that’s probably not true. Simply put, we don’t always end up with our perfect man or woman and more often than not, the person we’re with does not fit the criteria for our perfect partner.

Who Is Their Dream Partner?

You can learn how to get your ex back simply by looking at the celebrity they lust after the most. Are they smart, well dressed and of average build, or are they a bronzed god/goddess that clearly spends all of their time in the gym?

Some men and women simply lust after people who are successful and have achieved great things in life. Whatever they like, you can build yourself around them, essentially becoming their dream partner.

You don’t need to make huge changes. You don’t need to lose 100 pounds, turn your body into a solid mass of muscle and spend thousands on plastic surgery.

Your partner loved you at one point and they will still harbor some of those feelings, so even the slightest change for the better will be enough to attract their attention and potentially make them fall in love with you again.

How to Win your Ex Back Quickly

If you’re not sure what your partner likes or if they don’t have a “type”, then you can make a few simple all-round changes, becoming a better, polished version of the man or woman they first fell in love with.

Being impressed with how you have changed is one of the first signs your ex wants you back.

  • Trim Down: If you have put on some extra pounds, then lose them. Join a gym, diet, cut-out the alcohol, do some exercises at home — it’s amazing what a little change in your diet and daily regime can do for your figure.
  • Succeed: Success can be a huge draw for both men and women, and if you achieve something major and rub it in your ex’s face, then you may make them jealous enough to come running back.
  • On Trend: In many cases, slipping into a trim, tailored suit and getting a new haircut, or slapping on some make-up and a figure hugging dress before hitting the town and posting pictures, can be enough to make your ex jealous.
  • Show Off: As soon as you start looking better, take some pictures and post them on social media for your ex to see. If you use certain filters, lighting, and some slight (don’t go overboard) Photoshopping, then you’ll discover that one picture can go a long way. 

Bring Back The Old You

If the relationship lasted for a long time, then you can also use the old you as a guide. That’s the person that your ex fell in love with and in most cases, the question of how to win your ex back can be answered simply by turning back the clock.

When they are in long term relationships, people have a habit of letting themselves go, men much more than women. The woman will not tell them, even when they break up with them, so the man is often clueless, even though it should be obvious.

So, look back at the old you, the person they fell for, and ask yourself a couple questions:

Have You Let Yourself Go?

Can You Be That Person Again?

If you answer yes to both of these, then the answers to “how to win your ex back” and “how to make your ex want you back again” could be simpler than you think. Of course, Father Time isn’t on your side and there isn’t much you can do about age, but there is certainly something you can do about your hair, your weight and even your personality.

5 Be Patient And Be Smart

You need to be willing to learn and you need to be patient, because learning how to win your ex back is something that takes time, something that needs to be done just right.

You will feel the need to jump right in, to get started straight away and to make your ex your partner again.

That’s understandable. You’re hurting, you feel rejected, dejected and miserable, but it’s not the right approach.

Before you do any of the things listed in this article, you need to wait. Give it at least a week or two before you start making your move.

Your partner needs time to miss you, time to turn you into a memory that creates longing and ignites feelings of loss. If you hassle them straight away then you’ll only make them angry and the hate that they no doubt have for you will grow.

Understand Their Psychology And Use It To Your Advantage

As explained in this video, psychology plays a big role in understanding the signs that your ex wants you back and in getting him or her back. It’s all about rebuilding a relationship that has been cut short, but doing so in a manner that does not cause mistrust, paranoia or any lingering anger.

After all, if your ex has left you because you had an affair, or if they left you to be with someone else, then it’s natural not to trust that person when the relationship recommences. But, such mistrust inevitably leads to paranoia, to arguments and then to another breakup.

You don’t want to go to the trouble of getting back together just to spend a few weeks in a whirlwind relationship that is not pleasant for either of you and eventually ends in a cataclysm of aggression, tears and misery.

That’s why it is important to be patient, to take your time getting back together and to maintain a degree of trust when you are.

Trust Them And They Will Trust You

If you have gotten back together, if your relationship is on some kind of “trial run” or if you’ve made a mistake and you can sense everything coming to an end, then trust can save you, just as it can save you when you eventually win your ex back.

It doesn’t matter if they are the ones to have an affair or if you were, you need to show them that you trust them and that you are not worried they will sleep with everyone they see (even if you actually are).

So, keep the following in mind at all times:

  • Do Not Be Obvious: If they cheated on you once then you’re right to be suspicious that it will happen again and you’re right to want to keep tabs on them, but don’t be obvious about it. Check their phone when they are not there, keep tabs on them without them knowing or simply trust them 100%.
  • Be Open: You should be willing to let them meet friends of the same sex, to go places without you and generally to be at risk of cheating on you. Doing this may be risky if they have cheated before, but it shows that you have complete faith in them, and that’s what you need.
  • Keep Their Friends Close: You need to know if they are doing things behind your back without being obvious, so keep in touch with their friends, make them your friends as well. That way, they will be less likely to wrong you and more likely to keep you informed.
  • Let Them Have Fun: Book them tickets to an event, a show, a game or even a holiday, and let them go with a friend. Again, this might be risky, but it shows complete trust.

Once you trust them, then they will feel obliged to trust you, even if you were the one who cheated on them.

If they do not, then don’t get angry. They are justified for thinking that way and just need a little time and a little more effort on your part for that attitude to change.

Once they do trust you, then make an effort to show them that you are doing nothing wrong. Be open with them, tell them everything — this is the sort of behavior that creates healthy and long lasting relationships.

Rebuild trust and make your ex lust for you again by releasing a naturally occurring hormone. Discover more with Secrets To Getting Your Ex Back.

Make Sure You Do Not Lose Them Again

It’s not always a question of how to win your ex back, and often a question of how to keep them when you do. Patience is important here as well, and as with trust, it’s something you need to work on over time.

Clearly, you didn’t succeed the first time around, so getting them back is just the beginning and will lead to another breakdown if you don’t change your ways.

Take what you learned during the process of trying to win them back, and use that to give them what they want, to improve the relationship and to ensure that this never happens again.

Watch and Learn

We have tried our best to teach you all that we know and to lend you a helping hand. You are here because you wanted to know how to make your ex want you back, and hopefully we have gone someway to helping you figure out the answer.

However, there is only so much that we can say, only so much that we can cover. We have a lot of experience in this matter, but there are people out there with more experience, more techniques and more ways for you to achieve that goal.

One of those is available on this video link, revealing the Secrets To Getting Your Ex Back.

They will tell you how to make your ex want you back, how to make your ex miss you and how to get your ex back in general. This is all essential information if you’re in that position, and it’s all available at the click of a button.

So, what are you waiting for? Make a start now, otherwise your ex could jump into the arms of another and you could miss you chance.

10 simple tips to make your ex want you get back…”

Even if things seem bleak, there’s hope to get your ex back.

10 mistakes you’re making that you must stop now if you want to get your ex back.

Are you depressed your lover left you? Have you thought of many ways to convince him/her to give you another chance, only to fail miserably?

If you want to get your ex back, you can’t sit around and wait forever. Eventually it will be too late. They’ll find someone else or completely fall out of love for you.

Let me tell you a little something about myself. I had a 4 year relationship with the love of my life. I screwed it up. She left me. I spent months trying to convince her to give me another chance…

…but did it work? No. I was a clueless moron that had no idea why the girl that loved me for so long would no longer even answer my calls. So I learned from my errors. And the next time I found myself in that situation, I got her back.

When you’re depressed from a break-up, you need to focus on why she’s not coming back to you.

It’s only natural to make irrational decisions when you’re depressed. Your head isn’t functioning like it should be. But if you want your lover back, you need to get your head straight NOW!

get your ex back - break up depression

Time is of the essence so I’m going to help get you in the proper mindset.

So here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell you straight up why your ex won’t even talk to you anymore…

… he/she is no longer attracted to you. Why are they no longer attracted to you? Because you’ve made all or some of the following 10 errors.

10 errors that verify their decision to leave you was justified

Let’s be honest here. You’re not going to get your ex back until you change your ways.

It’s time to step your game up and become the person your ex thought you were before sending your ass packing.

So let’s focus on what you can do to get your lover back and become happy again. But first you must know the 10 common errors people make. Avoid them at ALL costs.

Error #1: You think the nicer you are, the more attractive you will be

Plain and simple – your ex isn’t coming back to you because you, all of a sudden, become super nice to them.

Refrain from putting on some phony act. Men and women dislike boring relationships anyway. If you act overly nice, your lover will see no reason for wanting you back because they will find you to be too boring.

Nice is boring. No one likes boring.

Error #2: Being completely clueless

Your ex fell in love with you once, so there’s probably a chance he/she wants to work things out. The problem is there’s only a short period of time in which you can do this. Eventually it will be too late.

Chances are your ex is sending out signals, but you just don’t know how to interpret them.

Pay attention to how your ex interacts with you after the break-up. .

Error #3: You become weak all of a sudden

I know it’s depressing when someone you really loved dumps you. We’ve all been there. But you can’t make it known that you are struggling to go on without them.

If your ex knows you’re barely even functioning with them, they will take advantage of that.

If they are under the impression you have successfully moved on with your life, they won’t feel so in control. This is how you gain their respect.

Once you’ve lost their respect, you’ve lost any hopes of them ever coming back to you.

Error #4: Not selling them on why you should still be together

So you use to have all kinds of fun hiking through the mountains or cooking dinner together?

Great. Now’s the time to remind your ex of the good times.

Just be careful. You don’t want to irritate them with constant reminders – even about the good times.

When you’re chatting, find time to occasionally mention reasons why you are perfect for each other. However….

…we’re human. We react on emotion. So you need to realize that logic doesn’t always get through to an ex. When you’re done reading these 10 errors, make sure you stick around for some important advice relating to this error.

Error #5: Assuming it’s all about wealth and looks

Do you really think your lover ditched you because you got fat or lost your job?

NO! They left you because they just don’t find you to be a suitable match anymore.

If they initially fell for you, it wasn’t all about your looks or bankroll. So don’t waste your time trying to become more physically attractive to get your ex back. It won’t work.

Error #6: Thinking gifts will get your ex back

It’s almost a natural reaction to think sending a bunch of nice gifts to your ex will win their heart back.

They won’t. In fact, your ex probably takes them and gives them to friends with a note that says “here’s a free gift from my desperate ex”.

Gifts don’t buy love. Instead, they buy restraining orders!

By showering your ex with gifts, all you’re doing is annoying them. This makes things worse. Stop and think before you act. And speaking of annoying your ex…..

Error #7: Constantly reminding your ex how much you love them

If you were unaware that showering your ex with gifts is annoying, you definitely don’t realize how irritating it can be to have an ex constantly tell you how much they love you.

I know how tempting it can be to text your ex “I love you”, but you should refrain from doing so.

The more annoying you are, the less likely your ex will come back to you. You might think reminding them how much you love them will work in your favor….

…but that’s because you’re not thinking straight. Your mind isn’t working properly when you’re depressed.

Your ex wants to hear you say “I love you” about as much as they want to hear you cry about how much you want them back.

Error #8: Not understanding what the opposite sex is attracted to

We all are attracted to different things. There’s something you should know…

…just because something appeals to you doesn’t mean it appeals to someone else. This is especially true when it comes to the opposite sex.

When you’re hanging out with members of the same sex, you can’t act the same around those of the opposite gender.

Error #9: Begging your ex to take you back

I’m just being honest with you here. Begging your ex to take you back will make them think you’re a loser.

It’s true. There’s nothing less attractive than a desperate person begging someone to come back to them.

Besides, do you really think you can beg your way into a relationship? No, no you can’t. And you know that. But again, you’re just not thinking straight.

Error #10: Thinking you can get your ex back on your own

If you’re reading this, chances are you have made more than 1 of the above errors. And if you’re being honest with yourself, you know I’m right.

What you’ve been doing isn’t working. You think you don’t need help, but then again….. why are you here?

You’re here because you know what you’ve been doing isn’t working. And you know you need someone to guide you.

Good for you. You want your ex back, so now you’re focused on taking action and accomplishing that. I commend you for it.

And guess what? I’m going to see to it that you get your ex back. That’s what I do. I’ve been in your situation many times before. It sucks. I’m no different than you, other than I know how to get back with an ex.

Now is the time to take action BEFORE it is too late…


Now that we’re through discussing ways you have probably screwed up, you need some advice on how to correct your errors. Remember when I told you attempting to sell your ex on logic is pointless?

I meant what I said, however, there is something you should know…

…you can still convince your ex to come back with words. You just need to learn how to speak to an ex while avoiding all of the above common errors.